Holding on your rope....got me 10 feet off the ground...

This familiar song by OneRepublic is one of my favorites...but...why?? Lately, I'm super-dedicated to these bad breakup songs like this one (Apologize) and others...John Legend's 'Everybody Knows' and 'Satisfaction'...Rihanna and Eminem's 'Love the Way You Lie' (not a breakup joint but still got that 'this is a really insane relationship' thing going on...)

And folks, it's not the BF.

Back to the back story:

So...right now I am straight wallowing in the sorrows of being dumped. But not by a boyfriend or a job....it was grad school. And I feel like half my heart was ripped out of my chest and transplanted to someone else in front of me...but what makes it hurt is that the other person already had a fully-functioning heart...so now they have all of theirs AND half of mine.

Depressing, right?? (or...gruesome lol). But that's what it's like. Lemme set the stage for ya:

22. Just finished college with a Com degree (have fun with that straight outta school)...'parents' who really wanted you to be a good girl and teach because it's still 1950 and the bills must be paid since you're not married (and I agree...bills definitely gotta be paid)...took the GMAT twice...talked to everybody who could help you get in to a B-school...got in...worked for days on end...dealt with the group from HELL (I'm NOT sorry to say it either...cheating bastards!), had a pretty nice graduate assistantship...and all of it GONE after a 1.5 hour meeting, simply because I performed exactly the way they expected (from those GMAT scores which weren't horrible but highlighted my weakness in life: MATH). Now: no job, no degree in 2012, a semester's worth of tuition down the drain and those bastards are stilll skinnin and grinnin through the halls of one of the most beautiful and expensive buildings on campus while I have NO IDEA where my life is headed...

Yeah. It's like that.

2 classes...Intro Accounting and Corporate Finance kicked my tail. Of course, since I was studying for an HR degree I did the best I could, but that wasn't enough, for my graduate school values its rankings, primarily dependent upon international students, more than actually doing what they're getting paid to do...TEACH ME THE MATERIAL...who woulda thunk they'd EVER put ANY effort into doing that??

So, the Lord has been gracious in that He's allowing me to still pay my bills...but...this is a HUGE transition for me. I find myself having to ask: 'who AM I??' all the time now...because that was two years of my projected life. Things like this can shake it up for ya...let me tell you. Ugh. And, I AM taking responsibility for my actions (and the lack thereof) that brought this all about...we'll talk about that soon enough. Just know that for now, God, I'm 'holding on your rope...got me ten feet off the ground...'

-srm-