This familiar song by OneRepublic is one of my favorites...but...why?? Lately, I'm super-dedicated to these bad breakup songs like this one (Apologize) and others...John Legend's 'Everybody Knows' and 'Satisfaction'...Rihanna and Eminem's 'Love the Way You Lie' (not a breakup joint but still got that 'this is a really insane relationship' thing going on...)
And folks, it's not the BF.
Back to the back story:
So...right now I am straight wallowing in the sorrows of being dumped. But not by a boyfriend or a job....it was grad school. And I feel like half my heart was ripped out of my chest and transplanted to someone else in front of me...but what makes it hurt is that the other person already had a fully-functioning heart...so now they have all of theirs AND half of mine.
Depressing, right?? (or...gruesome lol). But that's what it's like. Lemme set the stage for ya:
22. Just finished college with a Com degree (have fun with that straight outta school)...'parents' who really wanted you to be a good girl and teach because it's still 1950 and the bills must be paid since you're not married (and I agree...bills definitely gotta be paid)...took the GMAT twice...talked to everybody who could help you get in to a B-school...got in...worked for days on end...dealt with the group from HELL (I'm NOT sorry to say it either...cheating bastards!), had a pretty nice graduate assistantship...and all of it GONE after a 1.5 hour meeting, simply because I performed exactly the way they expected (from those GMAT scores which weren't horrible but highlighted my weakness in life: MATH). Now: no job, no degree in 2012, a semester's worth of tuition down the drain and those bastards are stilll skinnin and grinnin through the halls of one of the most beautiful and expensive buildings on campus while I have NO IDEA where my life is headed...
Yeah. It's like that.
2 classes...Intro Accounting and Corporate Finance kicked my tail. Of course, since I was studying for an HR degree I did the best I could, but that wasn't enough, for my graduate school values its rankings, primarily dependent upon international students, more than actually doing what they're getting paid to do...TEACH ME THE MATERIAL...who woulda thunk they'd EVER put ANY effort into doing that??
So, the Lord has been gracious in that He's allowing me to still pay my bills...but...this is a HUGE transition for me. I find myself having to ask: 'who AM I??' all the time now...because that was two years of my projected life. Things like this can shake it up for ya...let me tell you. Ugh. And, I AM taking responsibility for my actions (and the lack thereof) that brought this all about...we'll talk about that soon enough. Just know that for now, God, I'm 'holding on your rope...got me ten feet off the ground...'
-srm-
Friday, January 28, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
first things first...does ANYBODY have to go to the restroom??
you know how kids always have to GO when you're going on a trip...but don't tell you until the car is in motion?? that is preeeeeecisely how i feel right now.
back story:
'destination corner office' is going to be about my life as a 22 year old Christian woman, recent college grad, proud girlfriend, and ex-grad student.
sounds boring. i know. but i promise you, it is NOTHING like what you are expecting.
the journey started back in 2008. i was trying to figure out what in the world i was gonna do with my life...especially since my Godparents were so insistent that I did, and let me know they were NOT gonna pay for me to live out my dreams (be a singer, actress, whatever...we'll get to it soon). so i started looking into my options. when i started undergrad in 06 i was gonna be a teacher...never really wanted to (i have mad love for teachers, i just wasn't feeling it for me) but i tried because my Godparents were pushing it. too much. so, that lasted a year.
i changed my major to communications in 2008 (i did a year with no major and just did gen ed classes in liberal arts) and then to mass com a bit later that year. i loved it, and later declared my focus area would be video production.
that was cool. i enjoyed it. but i never really knew what i wanted to do. so, back in 08 i was just tossin around options for after graduation. find a job? grad school? didn't really know what i wanted to pursue but I knew I had to do s o m e t h i n g...
being too talented is a curse. i'm a writer, singer, arranger, coordinator, facilitator, dancer extraordinaire and food enthusiast just to name a few (i'm not arrogant though, i really have a problem, i can do WAY too many things). i really started to consider grad school, because it was just the (apparent) best option especially considering my circumstances (i'll get to that later, too). so in 2010, i applied to B-school. i decided i wanted to study HR. and that's when my life fell apart........
needless to say, this is going to be the journey of a lifetime...literally. i believe God does everything as a part of His divine plan but it's kinda up to us to make sure we are trying to seek Him for what that is. i felt like i was seeking...apparently, i need to seek harder. at this point in life, i'm ok with that.
so, anyways, i feel like the 3 year old who has to pee...i really shoulda said something about having NO CLUE what to do with my life a L O N G time ago. i know i'm kinda late but...ya know...i figure i'm still breathing, might as well start now. by the way, i'm sure that kid still has to pee.
until whenever i post again,
~srm~
back story:
'destination corner office' is going to be about my life as a 22 year old Christian woman, recent college grad, proud girlfriend, and ex-grad student.
sounds boring. i know. but i promise you, it is NOTHING like what you are expecting.
the journey started back in 2008. i was trying to figure out what in the world i was gonna do with my life...especially since my Godparents were so insistent that I did, and let me know they were NOT gonna pay for me to live out my dreams (be a singer, actress, whatever...we'll get to it soon). so i started looking into my options. when i started undergrad in 06 i was gonna be a teacher...never really wanted to (i have mad love for teachers, i just wasn't feeling it for me) but i tried because my Godparents were pushing it. too much. so, that lasted a year.
i changed my major to communications in 2008 (i did a year with no major and just did gen ed classes in liberal arts) and then to mass com a bit later that year. i loved it, and later declared my focus area would be video production.
that was cool. i enjoyed it. but i never really knew what i wanted to do. so, back in 08 i was just tossin around options for after graduation. find a job? grad school? didn't really know what i wanted to pursue but I knew I had to do s o m e t h i n g...
being too talented is a curse. i'm a writer, singer, arranger, coordinator, facilitator, dancer extraordinaire and food enthusiast just to name a few (i'm not arrogant though, i really have a problem, i can do WAY too many things). i really started to consider grad school, because it was just the (apparent) best option especially considering my circumstances (i'll get to that later, too). so in 2010, i applied to B-school. i decided i wanted to study HR. and that's when my life fell apart........
needless to say, this is going to be the journey of a lifetime...literally. i believe God does everything as a part of His divine plan but it's kinda up to us to make sure we are trying to seek Him for what that is. i felt like i was seeking...apparently, i need to seek harder. at this point in life, i'm ok with that.
so, anyways, i feel like the 3 year old who has to pee...i really shoulda said something about having NO CLUE what to do with my life a L O N G time ago. i know i'm kinda late but...ya know...i figure i'm still breathing, might as well start now. by the way, i'm sure that kid still has to pee.
until whenever i post again,
~srm~
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